just napkins III

caught between two miseries
one denial
one foreseen
all i know is all i do
all i’ve seen is what i knew
i could find you day by day
i could find you anyway
even though the earth is seen
it’s scenes and scenes and scenes and scenes
call me bashful or naive
call me humble – i believe
i am not what you hold dear
i’ve been honest all my years
even when i tell a lie
here i am guilty and wondering why
lies are not all those foretold
likes are limber and bought & sold
i will strive to tell the truth
and if i don’t, i hope you do
but if you’re truth is something it’s not
pick your favorite spot
or lot
and dream


this december, i’ll be cold
it’d be winter
i’d be a little more old
i am nothing
i am me
me, i am
me, i see
take it all
take it free
i don’t care
it isn’t me
i need money to be free
from apprehensive poverty
lord, i know you
lord, you’re salty
take it all as
my own fault
you are not but all in all
i am nothing
head my call

lyrics are just words in tune
my eyes close and pens resume
my heart wavers
sighs or sings
my teeth ache from broken dreams
love is living
fear is strong
i wish honesty belonged
i know i can not have much
i need so little
just human touch
please believe, i’m only what
years have taught me
parents/teachers/friends & love
what i own i like too much
what i know is far from such
days are driving
nights all ride
fair is fair
lights – we ride

time it was
and time will be
love is marching
all can see
hatred’s only lies and such
thievery should at least be sought
out to lonesome prairie eyes
out like lightning across the sky
thunder rolls and who should care
the things to see are beautiful – stare


favorite sons
and daughters the same
simpleness and cultures crave
i am not what should be known
i am loving
i bestow
whether or not there’s noise and honks
makes doors slam closed and teach or shout
terrible businesses be found
treat employees like they’re crowns

my repairs
my insight
my ideas
my resign
my indifference to the scene
where music goes to make for me
i can do it
i can not
i will try
and i will not
even if you think i know
i know nothing but dropping stones
skipping rivers like a leaf
floating down; now i believe
so it’s brilliant
so it’s cold
i forgive you
but i’m not sold

help me out and i’ll repay
i will love you all my days
but if you threaten me, i must
wish upon you devils and dust
clean me off and i’ll clean you
won’t you try and see this through
have some fun
and have it real
without bullets, bombs, or steal
i will give you what it is
i know much but lonesome days

i have wondered
i have seen
i have family i miss seeing
i am lonely for someone
she knows not
but i am loved

this opportunity
this operation
this indifference
this, instead
what’s going on is something else
i have looked and looked around
mealtimes only if you can
a bed is what i wish i had
inside walls i bought myself
with money i earned
because of words from my mouth

i will share the wealth
i will share the money
in fact, i can’t wait to give it away
i will know i’m known
but privacy is what i crave
the streets are for some warmer days
knocking down my door won’t cave
i have family

are all the same

be your future
i’ll be mine
live like buddha
in your mind
of all the open hearts. revealed
mine was stolen
but i need meals
yes, i know the money’s nothing
no, i don’t think i am bluffing
gambling is something else
this is true love

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